Saturday, January 31, 2015

Trust me....

Do you trust me?

It is not enough to trust me yesterday, you need to trust me today.

It is not enough to trust me with some of your situations you need to trust me with all of your situations.

It is not enough to trust with me concerning some aspects of your life, you need to trust me with all of your life.

Do you trust me if I call you to walk left, even if everyone else is going right?

Do you trust me if all you see are mountains in front of you?

Do you trust me if the situation looks impossible?

Do you trust me?

Do you believe that I will never leave you nor will I ever forsake you?

Do you believe I will be with you the entire way?

Do you believe that I have the ability to open doors and close doors?

Do you believe that I am capable of making a way out of no way?

Do you believe that I love you?

Do you believe that I will not allow harm to come your way?

The road I have chosen you to walk is different than the road others will walk. There will be times that the mountains in front of you seem so high, but I am calling you into a new level of trust. I will give you the strength you need for this journey. I will give you the tools needed for the climb. I am in front of you guiding your way. Though the road seems so difficult, you have no need to fear.

I am holding your hand. Can’t you feel me? I need you to drown out the voices of fear. Drown out the voices of confusion. Drown out the voices of worry. Drown out the voices that are flooding your mind with questions. And trust me.

There are so many doors I want to open for your life, but I need you to trust me.

There are places I am going to have you go, but I need you to trust me.

The promises that have been declared over your life years ago are about to come to pass, but I need you to trust me.

Though you feel barren as Hannah was, I need you to believe that your Samuel “Your promise” is on it’s way.

Though you feel pressured to bow down to the king “the world” as the 3 Hebrew boys were pressured, refuse like they did, because I will spare you from the fiery attacks.

Though you feel alone on this journey, as David was, walk it because the promise on your life will come to pass.

Don’t be afraid of the storms in your life, because I am right there.

Don’t be afraid of what little you may have, but remember that I multiplied the fish and the loaves of bread.

I am calling you to trust me for your daily manna.

Seek me daily because I want to speak to you. Let me have control of your life. And trust me.

I knew you before you were born. I had a plan for your life before your parents even knew you existed. My ways are higher than your own. Trust me even when things don’t make sense. Trust me even if it seems like everything is falling apart. Trust me, because I am in control.

Trust me.

Friday, January 23, 2015

In Prayer....

This morning when Hannah woke up she ran into the loft and sat down on my lap and cuddled. She didn't speak. She didn't play. She just cuddled. She allowed me to embrace her and I truly believe she could feel the massive amount of love I have for her. In the evening when we all pile into the bed (yes we still sleep with our kids), Hannah moves as close as possible to me and rests on me. That is what God wants us to do with Him.

 Hannah cuddling with daddy at the hospital

The calendar in my office has a scene of a mountain and I can't help but feel as though that is what the past few weeks have been like for us. A mountainous journey. Yet in the midst of everything, I have had such a peace. I can honestly say that there have been times in the past when I have had to go through hard times, my trust had not always been on God. I had a miscarriage 4 years ago, and I was mad at God. I could not understand why He would enable me to get pregnant just to rip the baby away from me. That road to healing was hard. When my husband and I first got married, he was laid off a couple of months after the wedding. The first couple years of our marriage, financially it was really tough. I would ask God "Why?" That was a tough journey.  I say that because God has worked on me and in me the last few years. And during this difficult time when we heard words like "cancer," "rare," "complicated," "hospitalization," and "chemotherapy" our trust was rooted in God. There was a peace that only God could give.

Yet this morning, fear began to creep in. And so I came to God this morning with all of my fears. I am learning that God doesn't expect us (or want us) to try and figure everything out on our own. And so I came to Him, like my children come to me and I let His love embrace me.

 such a precious picture. I can't help but think of when we go to God, how His love embraces us

And verses began popping up in my head and God began to speak to me. And He began to take away all of my fears. All of my worries began to disappear. All of my concerns began to fade away. And his love embraced me. His arms surrounded me. His comfort engulfed me. There is power in prayer. Perspectives change. Situations change. Mountains begin to crumble. The earth begins to move. And God speaks to us in prayer. And fear is removed....

I love this picture. It must have been something with the sun, but the outline around my husband and myself, just makes me think of how even though we may not see it, God's hand is upon us and sheltering us every day.

Prayer is important. Cultivating a relationship with God is so important. Seeking God daily is important. When we pray God takes our hand and He draws us closer to Him. When I was single, I used to open the church every morning for prayer. I loved my quiet time with the Lord. Then I had two children....As a working mother to young children I feel as though my time is stretched thin. It seems as though exhaustion is a constant in my life. But prayer is so important. It is so easy to say "I could not find time to pray today." Or "I was too exhausted in the evening to pray." But I am learning, that I can't do that. Prayer should not be looked as a chore. It shouldn't be looked at as "here is another thing I have to do." Yet we should long for that intimate time with God.

We need to learn how to go to God daily in prayer. In prayer God changes situations. But in prayer, God also changes us. In prayer, our trust in Him grows. In prayer, our understanding of Him grows. In prayer, our confidence in Him grows. In prayer, the peace grows. In prayer, our walk with Him strengthens. In prayer, our commitment to Him grows. In prayer, He speaks to us. In prayer, His love embraces us. In prayer, His strength upholds us. In prayer, His shield protects us. In prayer....

There is so much that happens as a result of prayer. And so I came to God this morning with my fears. But as I got up from the couch after praying, the fears were removed. My walk with God means everything to me. My time spent with Him in prayer is so precious. He is God!

Thursday, January 15, 2015

You are still God

You are still God!

Those are the words my husband said as he prayed in the car before his doctor appointment last Friday. It is hard to believe that only a little more than two weeks have passed since we got the news "cancer."

You are still God!

No matter the diagnosis, we proclaimed, "you are still God!"
No matter the situation, we proclaimed, "you are still God!"
No matter the pain, we proclaimed, "you are still God!"

The news stung. The pain hurt. Our life as we knew it changed, but "you are still God!"

I say that our life as we knew it changed, but what Satan thought would destroy us, God was using it to elevate us into a deeper relationship with Him.

You are still God!

Our praise only got louder!
Our worship only got stronger!
Our dedication only grew!

You are still God!

The mountain was so high. But never did we think it was impossible! The valley was so deep. But never did we think it was impossible. The road so dry, but never did we think it was impossible!

You are still God!

I believe we have entered into a new season. What Satan hoped would cripple us, bring us to the floor, make us turn our backs on God, only served to draw us closer to God.

You are still God!

We had peace when Satan hoped we would be in turmoil.
We had comfort when Satan hoped we would lose our mind.
We had strength when Satan hoped we would be destroyed.
We had confidence when Satan hoped we turn away.

You are still God!

And so we shout with a shout of victory!

The waves were crashing, but we knew who was steering the boat.
The ride was filled with turbulence, but we knew who our pilot was.

Never did we think we were lost. Never did we question the master. Never did we say "get us off this ride!"

Because He is God!

He is in control! He holds our hands.

God is our peace, our provision, our comfort, our strength, our direction, our fortress, our everything.

He was God when we got the diagnosis. He was God when they said the mass was 17*12*17 cm in diameter. He was God when they said his lung was collapsed and the mass was constricting his heart. He was God when the doctor said he would be in the hospital for a month and chemo for a year. But He was God when the doctor said she was surprised the mass went away. He was God when she said that she had never seen that before. He was God when the nurses told us that everyone was surprised that the mass went away and it was only God. He was God when we asked for clear direction and he answered those prayers in a specific way where we knew it was only God.

He is God when the situation looks bad, and He is God when the situation looks good.

He is God!

Thursday, January 8, 2015

This ride just got bumpy

I am sitting in my office trying to get some work done and I think how the last time I sat here was right before Christmas vacation. It is crazy to think how your life can be transformed so quickly. Three weeks ago, I was busy thinking about our planned vacation, working on a budget to put more in savings and possibly selling our house this upcoming year. I definitely wasn’t thinking that we would spend the beginning portion of 2015 in a hospital room. And so as I sit in my office grading, responding to emails, looking at our health insurance and praying that my job allows me to have some sort of flexible hours I can’t help but think of our plane ride home yesterday.

I hate flying. There was a point in my life where I was on a plane twice a month and even though I did it often, I absolutely hated it. I hate taking off. I hate landing. And I definitely hate the turbulence. And even though I know the pilot is trained with thousands of miles of experience it is hard sometimes to just sit and have confidence that the pilot knows what he is doing, especially when it the plane is bumpy with turbulence. Yesterday as we took off, I closed my eyes and reminded myself that the pilot knew far more than I did. While I just saw the seat in front of me, the pilot has so many tools at his hands.

As I sit in here in my office, I can’t help but think of the pilot who is in control of my life. The ride just got bumpy. The turbulence came with no warning. The sea and the waves started crashing and I feel like I was not ready. I definitely did not think this would ever be a chapter in our life. But it is.

And I feel like the disciples when the storm came, they went to the bottom of the boat and found Jesus sleeping. They woke him up, scared because of the waves they saw around them. But Jesus remained calm. Cancer. Complicated. Medication. Medical Bills. Disability. Time off. These are all words we have heard over the last few days. The waves in front of us appear so high. The turbulence a little scary. The mountain almost impossible to climb.

Yet our pilot is in control. He knows what He is doing. This storm does not scare him. These waves do not cause Him confusion. This turbulence is not affecting Him. He is in control. As much as I would want the storm to pass, I know that at the end of every rain is a great harvest. I know that when the storm passes, a rainbow appears. I know that  the fruit begins to bloom after the storm.

And so when I am tempted to worry. When I am tempted to get scared. When I am tempted to break down, I cast my eyes on the Lord. I place my hope in Him. I place my confidence in Him. I place my trust in Him.

And I praise Him because He is good. He is God. He is my fortress. He is my rock. He is my ever present help in the midst of a storm. He is my comforter. He is my provider. He is my deliverer. He is our healer.

He spoke life into existence. He parted the Red Sea. He made the walls of Jericho come down. He used a woman. He used an orphan. He used a prostitute. He delivered the 3 Hebrew boys from the fiery pit. He delivered Daniel from a Lion’s mouth. He healed. He raised the dead. He multiplied.

And He calmed the sea. He is working right now. We may not see the plan. We may not understand the full purpose. We may not even understand.

But we believe Him for the healing.

If you are going through something right now, if the waves are crashing around you. If the plane ride just got bumpy, I encourage you to put your trust in the Pilot. He knows what He is doing. He knows where He is going. He knows where this plane is going to land. There are times when the turbulence is necessary, however we trust that God is going to land this plane safely and the destination is going to be amazing.

We praise God for the end result. We praise God for the healing. We praise God for the comfort. We praise God for His provision. We praise God for every good thing that is going to come out of this.

He is God. And He is God alone!