My husband was diagnosed with cancer two years ago. And every day we prayed for and believed God could and would perform the miracle. But He didn't. On February 14th my husband passed away. We are now left with memories. Some people are afraid to ask God the question "Why didn't you heal him?" There is a difference between asking God a question and questioning God. We can ask God questions but we can't question the things God chooses to do.
Sometimes God doesn't perform the miracle we so desperately want. Our prayer wasn't out of line. We weren't praying for a million dollars. We weren't praying for a mansion to live in. We weren't praying for status in life. We were praying for a healing. A healing for a 31 year old who was married with two children and had countless people who loved him. Yet God didn't perform the miracle our heart desired.
Could He have? Yes. God absolutely could have healed my husband. But He didn't. When God doesn't perform the miracle we wanted Satan will slide his way into one's mind and try and convince you that God didn't care or that God didn't love you. He will try and convince you that God couldn't do it. But these are all lies.
Even if God doesn't perform the miracle He is still a healer. Even if He doesn't answer the prayer we so desperately wanted He is still a loving God. And He does love you. God's love for me and my children is not less because he didn't heal Mel. Nor has my love for Him decreased just because my husband is no longer living. God wasn't punishing our family when He called Mel home.
I trust in God. And that means I trust that God has a plan for everything. The Bible tells us there is a time to live and a time to die. And even though my heart is shattered I trust that God's plans for our life are perfect. And so for some reason it was the plan of God to take my amazing husband home at 31. And that hurts. But God doesn't always perform the miracle we want. Trusting in God means even when the story doesn't turn out the way we wanted God was always in control and never left the throne. Mel won this race we all sing about. He is in heaven and has the reward we all strive for.
There are times we will never have an answer to a question we ask God. I may never know why Mel didn't get the healing. An answer to that question wouldn't really help my broken heart anyways. But the peace that comes from God can. Sometimes the miracle doesn't come like we wanted. But anger towards God cannot set in. I'm upset my husband is not living but I'm not mad at God. I don't understand why but I trust in God's plan. I so badly wanted the miracle to take place in Mel's life but I trust, in time, God will piece together my shattered heart.
We live in a world that always wants answers. My children, when they were younger, were constantly asking why. Sometimes God doesn't explain why He chose not to answer a prayer the way we wanted. And as hard as it may be to hear He doesn't have to explain. He is God. He doesn't seek us out on collaboration for His plans. He doesn't form planning committees when making decisions that impact our life.
But He is God. And He is good. And He loves us. We didn't get the miracle we wanted but God's love will sustain us. His peace will see us through. I am not seeking after the why God didn't perform the miracle because no answer will bring back my husband. But I am seeking after God. Because God is the one who will see me through.
Here is our FB page https://www.facebook.com/prayersformelchor/
My instagram @kimjoylira
Mel was in need of a bone marrow transplant and there wasn't a full match. Consider registering to be a bone marrow donor bethematch.org